Romance Scams: How to Spot and Avoid Them

Online dating can help you meet people you may never have met otherwise.

But there is another side of online dating that everyone should understand: romance scams.

A romance scam happens when someone creates a fake identity or uses a false story to build an emotional relationship with another person. After gaining trust, the scammer may ask for money, personal information, gifts, cryptocurrency, or other valuable items.

The relationship may feel real.

That is what makes these scams so difficult to recognize.

The Federal Trade Commission says romance scammers often create fake profiles, build trust through frequent communication, and eventually make financial requests. The FBI also warns that scammers may use fake identities, emotional pressure, and false emergencies to gain money or personal information.

The good news is that you can take simple steps to protect yourself.

A romance scam is a type of fraud where someone pretends to have a romantic or close relationship with you in order to gain your trust and take advantage of you.

The person may seem caring, interested, and available.

They may message you every day.

They may talk about a future together.

They may even talk about marriage or meeting in person.

Then something changes.

They suddenly need money.

Maybe there is a medical emergency.

Maybe they need help paying for a flight.

Maybe they claim their bank account is frozen.

Maybe they introduce you to an investment opportunity.

The story can be different for every person.

The goal is often the same: gain your trust and then get something from you.

1. They Want to Build a Relationship Very Quickly

A scammer may try to create strong emotional feelings very early.

They may tell you that you are special after only a short time.

They may say they have never felt this way before.

They may talk about marriage, living together, or a future with you before you have had enough time to know each other.

Fast emotional attachment does not automatically mean someone is a scammer.

But when intense affection is combined with other warning signs, slow down and look more carefully.

The FBI specifically warns that romance scammers often try to establish a relationship quickly and gain trust before asking for money.

If you want to learn more about intense early attention in dating, you can also read our guide on love bombing signs.

2. They Always Have a Reason They Cannot Meet

This is one of the most important warning signs.

The person may say they are:

• Working in another country
• Serving in the military
• Working on an oil rig
• Working on an international project
• Traveling for work
• Dealing with a personal emergency

Being far away does not prove that someone is a scammer.

But if someone repeatedly promises to meet and always finds a new reason not to, be careful.

The FBI advises people to be suspicious when an online love interest repeatedly promises to meet but continues to make excuses.

A person may quickly ask you to move your conversation to another app, email, text message, or private messaging service.

Moving to another platform is not automatically a scam.

People sometimes prefer texting or another messaging service.

The concern is when the person pressures you to leave the dating platform very quickly and then starts making unusual requests.

The FBI lists quickly asking someone to leave a dating or social media platform as one warning sign to watch for.

If someone makes you uncomfortable, there is nothing wrong with keeping the conversation where you feel safer.

This is a major warning sign.

A romance scammer may ask for money because of:

• A medical emergency
• Travel costs
• A family problem
• Legal fees
• A frozen bank account
• A business problem
• A visa or travel issue
• An investment opportunity

They may say they will pay you back.

They may promise that you are helping them build a future together.

Do not send money to someone you have only met online.

The FTC's guidance is direct: never send money or gifts to a love interest you have not met in person.

Do not assume a request is safe because the person is not asking for cash.

Scammers may ask for:

• Gift cards
• Cryptocurrency
• Wire transfers
• Money transfers
• Bank transfers

The FTC specifically warns that romance scammers may direct victims toward gift cards, money transfer services, or cryptocurrency.

The FBI has also warned about romance scams connected to cryptocurrency investment fraud. In some cases, scammers build a relationship first and then introduce a fake investment opportunity.

If someone you met online asks you to invest money through a website or platform they recommend, stop and verify the opportunity independently.

Your personal information can also have value.

Be careful if someone you have only met online asks for:

• Bank account details
• Credit card information
• Passwords
• Social Security information
• Copies of identification
• Private financial information
• Intimate photos

A person may say they need the information because they trust you.

That does not make the request safe.

The FBI warns that scammers may request personal or financial information and may also attempt to use inappropriate photos for extortion.

You should never feel pressured to share information just because someone says they love you.

Scammers often want you to act before you have time to think.

They may say:

“You need to help me today.”

“I have nowhere else to go.”

“If you love me, you will help.”

“The investment opportunity will disappear soon.”

“Please don't tell anyone about this.”

These statements are designed to create emotional pressure.

Take a step back.

Talk to someone you trust.

Check the information independently.

A genuine relationship should not require you to make a rushed financial decision.

The FBI specifically recommends taking a beat and verifying claims through trusted, independent sources.

This is the simplest rule to remember.

You may feel close to someone even if you have never met them in person.

Daily conversations can create strong emotions.

But emotional closeness does not prove that someone's identity or story is real.

If someone you only know online asks for money, gifts, cryptocurrency, or financial information, stop before doing anything.

The FTC recommends never sending money or gifts to a sweetheart you have not met in person.

You do not need to become an expert investigator.

Start with a few basic checks.

Check Their Photos

Try a reverse image search of their profile photo.

The same image appearing under different names can be a warning sign.

The FTC specifically recommends reverse image searches when you suspect a romance scam.

Search Their Story

If someone says they work in a specific job or are part of a particular organization, search for the information independently.

Do not only use links or websites they send you.

The FTC recommends searching online for the person's claimed job together with the word “scammer” to see whether similar stories have been reported.

Ask Questions

Take your time.

Ask normal questions about their life.

Pay attention to whether their answers stay consistent.

You do not need to confront someone immediately.

Simply gather information before deciding how much trust to give.

One of the easiest ways to protect yourself is to avoid keeping a new online relationship completely private.

Talk to someone you trust.

Tell a friend that you have started talking to someone.

If the relationship becomes serious, let people close to you know.

A trusted friend may notice something you missed because they are not emotionally involved in the situation.

The FTC also recommends talking to someone you trust if you suspect that a new love interest may be a scammer.

Be careful with strong emotions that develop extremely fast.

Someone saying “I love you” early does not prove that they are a scammer.

But if very strong affection is combined with pressure, secrecy, requests for money, or repeated excuses about meeting, slow the relationship down.

You do not have to match someone else's pace.

A healthy connection can develop over time.

You can read our article on how to build an emotional connection for more about creating genuine connections without rushing the process.

Do not send more money.

Do not give the person additional personal information.

Save important messages, payment records, profile information, and other evidence.

Then stop communicating with the person if you believe they are trying to scam you.

You should also report the account to the dating platform where you met them.

The FTC recommends reporting suspected romance scams through ReportFraud.ftc.gov. The FBI recommends reporting internet-enabled crime through the Internet Crime Complaint Center, known as IC3.

If you already sent money, contact your bank, payment company, card issuer, gift card company, or cryptocurrency service as soon as possible and explain that you were scammed. The FBI also recommends contacting your financial institution immediately after a suspected scam.

Do not be embarrassed.

Romance scams are designed to create trust and emotional pressure.

Act quickly.

Contact the company or financial institution you used to send the money.

Tell them that the payment was connected to a scam and ask what recovery options are available.

Save your communications with the scammer.

Do not delete evidence before reporting the incident.

The FBI advises victims to stop contact, preserve communications, report the crime, and contact their financial institution if money was sent.

Before trusting a new online connection, remember:

Go slowly.

You do not need to rush a new relationship.

Protect your information.

Do not share financial or highly sensitive personal details.

Verify important claims.

Do not rely only on information the person gives you.

Watch for pressure.

Urgency and emotional pressure deserve extra attention.

Never send money.

Especially to someone you have only met online.

Talk to someone you trust.

An outside perspective can be useful.

Report suspicious behavior.

Use the dating platform's reporting tools and the appropriate government reporting service.

Learning about romance scams should not stop you from meeting people.

It should help you make safer decisions.

You can enjoy getting to know someone while still keeping healthy boundaries.

Take your time.

Ask questions.

Protect your personal information.

Meet safely when you decide to meet in person.

And never let someone use feelings of love or trust to pressure you into sending money.

Online dating should give you the opportunity to meet new people. Staying aware of common scams can help you protect yourself while you do it.

When you are ready to meet new people, Online Dating can be a way to start new conversations while keeping your own boundaries in mind.